Behind These Eyes
Hidden Behind These Eyes, Lurking in Their Murky Depths
Is Nothing But Hate, Pain and Sadness. I Put On a Façade, So No One Will Know. So No One Will Realize. So No One Will Give Me Their Useless Pity
Am I Happy? No. But Do I Care?
Do I Do Anything About It?
Sometimes. Do I Need Help? Probably
But You See, Telling Would Just Make Me A Burden
And That's The Last Thing I Want To Do
Seven year old Robin wiped at his moistened eyes, trying to keep the tears from rolling down his rosy cheeks. "V-Vater
?" He whispered in his native tongue, staring up at his father with scared brown eyes. "Vater, warum sind Sie starrte mich an wie das?" 'Father, why are you staring at me like that?' Being at the tender age of seven, he found it hard to comprehend certain emotions expressed by "adults," such as the one that was being portrayed on his father's face right now. It was a face of pure disgust, coupled with spite and, something a little more; a hint of drunken lust, perhaps? What made Robin even more worried was the fact that his father had just finished screaming at him for no actual reason at all. His only response was a sly, devious smirk as his father descended upon him, grabbing him by the wrist and tugging him away. The red-head had no choice but to oblige, and follow after his father with brisk steps, worry swelling in the pit of his belly. His father entered the Master Bedroom, shutting the door and locking it behind him, that Cheshire-like grin never leaving his face. Robin knew something was wrong, but he just didn't understand what; and by the time he realized, it was already too late
Robin; crumpled and broken, lay curled up in a ball in the middle of his plush mattress, weeping, sending silent prayers to heaven, wondering what he did that was so wrong. Perhaps it was the fact that he was an Inu living in a house full of Nekos? It shouldn't be though; because he was adopted by that very family all those years ago
Maybe he was just becoming bothersome. Yes
That's it. He was becoming a burden. What, with all of his girlish tendencies, and his boisterous behavior. Or perhaps, he was being punished for the death of his Mother and his eldest sister even though he had nothing to do with it. Maybe that was it. Maybe God was punishing him for his sins. Maybe he deserved this - the daily punishments. The screaming, the hitting, the kicking, the pushing, the choking, the sexual harassment
Maybe he deserved all of it. Just maybe
It was Karma, trying to get back at him. Well, for whatever the reason; the very pessimistic Inu believed he deserved it
Maybe it would be best if he just
Today, Robin found out he had the ability to cast illusions with his mind. He's found himself oddly resentful of the fact that he's different. His father hates him enough; and now he's a freak with powers. The red-head couldn't even begin to imagine the horrible, horrible things that were sure to come with his father's knowledge of this. Could he even call him "Father" anymore? The last time he had, he had been slapped so hard, a tooth was knocked loose. (Thank God it was only a baby-tooth, and he was going to lose it, anyways.)
Was there even a God up there? If there was, surely he wouldn't have taken the life of his mother and sister, Jessalyn. If there was a God up there, there was no way he'd allow his "Father" to abuse him so
If there was a God up there, he was sure he would send his other sister (Star) home in a heartbeat, and put an end to this whole fiasco. If there was a God out there, he wouldn't be a mutant freak with strange powers. So maybe there isn't a God out there, after all
Or maybe, if there is
God hates him. Robin desperately hoped it was the former of the two
He wouldn't be able to take it if any more people hated him
Especially not the creator of the Earth, and Life itself.
He's finally done it. He's stood up for himself
After another assault from his drunken father, he's finally done it. He fought back. However, now; he's terrified. At the moment, it felt good to fight back; it felt good to push him away. It felt good to bite him, and kick him and scream at him. But
What did his father have planned for him, now? He had stared at him for the longest time. He just stared and stared and stared, before finally turning and storming away angrily, cursing under his breath. The look of pure hatred and resentment that blazed in his father's emerald green eyes was enough to send tremors of absolute fear down his spine. He was scared. No. Scared was an understatement. He was Terrified. He was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts when the door swung open, revealing a rather pissed-looking Neko on the other side, a pair of handcuffs clasped in one hand, and other little "toys" clasped in the other. Robin felt a whimper rise in his throat, but didn't dare say anything as his father descended upon him
Robin stared out his window, watching as star after star slowly appeared in the blackened sky, tears rolling silently down his cheeks. "Mutter ..." 'Mother
' He whispered, a quite whimper rising in the back of his throat. "Why did you have to leave me like this
?" He whispered, the tears falling a bit faster now. "Vater
He is hurting me
Why did you have to leave me Mutter?" He began hyperventilating, wiping at his eyes to try and keep himself from crying. Eleven year old boys did Not cry. But alas; his attempts proved to be worthless, because they just wouldn't stop. "I miss you. And I miss Jessalyn
Why did you have to get into the accident and die Mutter? Why?" He spoke softly, as if he was expecting an answer. He fell to his knees when he never received one, and sobbed silently into his hands. "Ich liebe dich
"<.i> 'I love you
Only a few hours ago, he had found the courage he needed to run away. And run he did. He didn't even pack anything to take with him only the clothes that was on his back. He bolted out the door, and after hours of traveling, he found himself in a city. And a horrible city it was. It was filled with lunatics, criminals, the homeless
It appeared as if a siren went off every five minutes. Despite this, however, he felt relieved that he had finally escaped his father's icy clutches. At the same time, however, he was regretting his decision to leave. After all; if he had ever returned to his home
. What would his father decide to do to him? He let out a shaky breath, gulping a deep lungful of air, and walking on down the dirty sidewalk, keeping his gaze fixed on the ground. He bumped into an object, and upon looking up, he realized it was a person. "O-oh
Sorry." He murmured, not making eye-contact. The person grinned, revealing a pair of sharp fangs.
"What are you doing all alone, little one?" He asked, his words slurred, as if drunken.
Robin answered hesitantly, only giving a brisk nod. He was about to walk off, when the man grabbed his wrist. "You look
" He licked his lips. "Delicious
" Robin's eyes widened. He wanted to run, but his limbs were paralyzed from fear.
"Ich - ich tun?" 'I I do? He asked; his voice shaky. "P-please
Let go of me
" He asked, his voice a mere whisper. The Vampire chuckled, but didn't do as he was asked. Rather, he took him behind an ally, and Robin had no choice but to follow.
Robin followed the very kind-looking Mud-Blood into a large, abandoned hotel building, which was simply bustling with other people, who were just like him. There were Inus, Nekos, Elves, Demons, Angels, Fairies, Vampires
And all of them appeared to be so happy here. For the first time in ages, Robin felt a smile creep onto his features, and tears of joy come to his eyes as the Mud-Blood (A Half-Demon named Karlee) took him on a tour of the Abandoned Hotel, which was called Club Onyx. Robin listened to him go on and on, showing him every inch of the Club, telling him to make himself at home. He didn't have to pay to stay, and he could stay for as long as he desired. By the end of the tour, Robin was crying, not from sadness or grief
But from joy. He looked up at Karlee, and quickly wrapped his arms around the taller male's torso. "Thank you!" His voice was hoarse. Karlee stiffened a bit, obviously uncomfortable.
Robin smiled at his awkward reply, burying his face in his chest.
Not long after he had joined Club Onyx, he had met a werewolf whom went by the name of Damien, and his fraternal twin brother, Derrik. The two were nice Derrik a little nicer than Damien and they treated him kindly. Despite the fact the Derrik appeared to be a tad friendlier and opt for conversation, he found himself oddly drawn to Damien. He often found himself talking to him, joking with him, and just wanting to spend time with him. Every time he saw him, his heart would swell, and a bright smile would blossom on his face. For the first time in such a long time, he felt as if he could truly be happy. Heh. Maybe there is a God out there after all