literature

Not Quite Polyamorous

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"Xavier, this is my favorite girl Sammy." I said as the large, white samoyd hurried over to me as I entered the room with the silver haired male following behind.

"And here I thought that Lillian was your favorite girl." I wasn't quite sure if I was right – I probably was – but I thought I heard something enter his voice when he said Lillian's name – almost like it left a bad taste in his mouth. My lips turned upwards in a small smirk.

"Nah." I shook my head before commenting playfully. "She's my third favorite girl. Sammy is my first, you're my second, and Lillian is my third favorite." I watched as a frown fell onto his facial features, and it made my smirk widen. He should have known me well enough by now – I wasn't going to stop teasing him. "What's wrong? Upset that I called you a girl?"

"No, but that doesn't help." He murmured – still standing in front of the doorway.

"Well, you are the girl here." I smirked when I noticed an eyebrow twitch; that was something I wouldn't notice about any ordinary person. I wasn't one to pay that much attention to little things such as that. I only ever cared enough to pay attention was when it involved my friends – or someone else I really cared about. Most people I really cared about were my friends, so I didn't see why they wouldn't be my friend. It would be odd..... Very odd indeed.

"Shut up." He huffed with a roll of his eyes, but I knew that he didn't mean that much by it.

"No thanks – unless you want to do it for me." I gave a wink. "Is it because Sammy is higher up on my list than you?" When there was no reply from him I just rubbed the female dog behind the ears before speaking to her. "Go get him!"

"Wh- HEY!" Xavier obviously wasn't paying attention – taking lessons from me, I see – when the once-stray bounded over to him; standing on her front legs to paw at his chest. "Jason! Control your dog!"

"I did." I replied in a cheeky manner. It did surprise me that she listened though – she used to be a stray, so she wasn't the best with doing what she was told. "But I suppose you're right." I commented as I stepped closer to the younger male, and my dog; pushing her away from him. "I'm supposed to attack you instead of the dog doing it, aren't I?" I smirked before capturing his lips in a kiss – one he returned very quickly.

~~~

"You expect me to dine with your parents?" I looked at the shorter brunette as she looked at me expectantly.

"Of course!" She said as she stood up on her bed. "Won't it be fun? They'll be happy to see you."

"Isn't this a family affair though?" I asked rather than pointed out the fact that we both knew very well. "I don't want to just jump into it; screw something up.."

"You're apart of our family." Lillian said as she looked at me. "Ever since we were kids we've been close, and my parents treated you like family; it's not going to change now."

"They liked me when I was a kid, and not now." I stated simply as I watched her start bouncing up and down. "They don't really like the fact that we are dating – I can understand that."

"Come on – they don't dislike you." She said as her eyes met mine again as she continued to bounce on her plush bed. "Please? I'm going to be lonely anyway; Karry's not going to be there to talk to."

"So you talk me into it?"

"You are my boyfriend, after all." She grinned in triumph as I just shook my head at her. I felt something squirm in my belly at her words, but I didn't let it show on my face.

~~~

"What?" I sighed as I looked at the young woman in front of me. Instead of her normal attire she chose something different. Sweatpants, and a dark blue camisole that complimented her short brown hair, and her skin tone. She had just barged into my house, and I was not amused. I really was not seeing as I was exhausted from work. She claimed to have big news; was she willing to share it now? No. She wasn't.

"We need to talk." Her tone was simple; sharp, and to the point.

"Then talk, Lilly." I said; calling her by her nickname that I knew all too well.

"I cheated on you." I blinked at her for a couple minutes at her blunt statement. I didn't say anything during this period of time. My mind had been busy thinking through things, and making sure that I didn't have a heart-attack – from relief. When she said that we needed to talk I was afraid of something worse happening. Something involving Xavier and myself........

"Um...... When?" Was all I managed to get out as I calmed my beating heart; get my erratic breathing under control.

"That party I went to with Karry and Rose a few months ago." She answered. I vaguely remembered that party – it was three months ago, if I remembered correctly. Lillian had went out with her cousin, and one of their mutual friends; stayed out all night. I couldn't say I minded too much, but I was a little worried: even if I didn't care for her like a significant other I cared about her as a brother would care for a sister.

"And you're finally telling me about it?"

"I just found out about it."

"How could you just find out about it if you were the one who cheated?" I asked, and I felt bile swell in my throat as I said the last word. I never would have thought she would be telling me that she cheated – I thought I would be telling her that. It made me feel slightly worse, because she was telling me what she did, and I wasn't planning on it.

"I never remembered what had happened that night." The blue-eyed teen sighed, and she looked like she was fighting a battle for a moment – she might have been. Telling me something like this wasn't that easy – telling anyone something like this wasn't that easy. "I was out of my mind, and I wouldn't even remember sleeping with someone if it wasn't for what I found out earlier."

"You're stalling." I stated with an irritated sigh. "What did you find out that made you think you slept with someone else."

"I don't think so – I know so." She said; taking a deep breath. "This morning I found out that I am three months pregnant." The words left me staring at her wide-eyed. She was.... pregnant? It had to be a stupid joke, right? …... But the look on her face said otherwise. I think those words made my stomach squirm more than it had been; made the bile feel like it was rising again.

"W-What?"

"I'm pregnant, and that is how I know I slept with someone else. It can't be your kid because we haven't had sex in forever." She managed to even out her tone of voice, but I still managed to hear the tremors when she first started speaking. She was only 19-years-old....... And she was going to have a kid. Even if she would have wanted to – and she wouldn't – it was too late to get an abortion. "I also think that you're taking this a little too well."

The cheating part – sure – but certainly not the part about the baby. Those words made something in me snap. I couldn't keep lying to her. After she just told me the truth of what happened – I knew it was the truth – I couldn't keep it up. She deserved to know..... An eye for an eye, after all. I was hoping with all my might that nothing was going to blow up after this – everything probably would go to Hell after this.

"Because I thought you were going to say something else." I said slowly as I looked straight at her. "I thought you were going to tell me that you found out who I was sleeping around with."

"You've been cheating on me....?" She let out a gasp as she covered her mouth with her hand. "With who?" Her eyes seemed to harden as she dropped her hand, so it was back at her side. "Was it with Xavier? Why?"

"You didn't give me a choice." I said as I looked at her; I took a step closer, and placed my hands on her shoulders gently. "I care about him, and you blackmailed him – which blackmailed me."

"You didn't have to..." She trailed off as she looked up at me. Her skin seemed much more pale than it normally did.

"I did." I said. "I didn't want to do it – but I couldn't let you put that tape back online. I couldn't care less about it, but Xavier does. I wasn't going to let him suffer when I could do something about it."

"So......" She started. "..... Is he the reason why you won't touch me?"

"I won't touch you, because I think of you like my sister. Do you know how awkward it is for me to touch you like that? I've always wanted to be your friend rather than your lover."

"You should have told me....." The tremor was back in her voice, and I was just glad that she was keeping as calm as she was. If she wasn't I was afraid she would start crying, yelling, or both. I didn't need that. Neither of us did.

"You know very well that I couldn't. I didn't need Xavier to get hurt – he already did before." I was reminded of the day after she had posted the video of us having sex in the alley. There was another guard that had seen it before Lillian took it down..... He had taken advantage of the silver haired male because of it. I had been angry when I found out about it, and I didn't need it to happen again – he didn't deserve it.

"Because he doesn't deserve you." She whispered as she suddenly hugged me. I didn't push her away, because a second later she did that herself. "I was trying to keep you from getting hurt. I didn't want anything to happen like it happened with Danial again."

"Xavier isn't a second Danial." I said, and I felt somewhat better. She wasn't blowing up; the weight felt like it was coming off my shoulders...... I was feeling less guilty, but I still felt it all the same.

"I don't know.... You got so hurt that time." She insisted as she met her gaze to mine.

"I won't this time. I'm not a kid." Not like I was then....... I was too young to know better.

"I don't care if you're with him anymore!" She suddenly said in a high-pitched voice that made me automatically wrap my arms around her slim body. I always did this when we were kids, and I didn't see any difference now. "I don't care anymore! Just stay with me." She said as she buried her head into my chest. "I can't take care of this baby on my own. I can't."

"I'll be here." I promised as I pushed her back a little, and looked into blue eyes that were starting to fill with tears. "I won't leave you. I won't leave either of you."

"Thank you." She sobbed. "You don't know how much I need you right now."

"You can count on me. I'll raise him, or her, with you. You won't be alone." I was sure that it was clear we weren't dating now. I wouldn't be a father to the kid, but I would be like an uncle. I didn't care, but I wasn't going to let her do this by herself. Lillian needed me.....

As she wrapped her arms around me again I held her close while she cried. She was too young to do something like this by herself, and she should have known that she wouldn't be alone. I would be there for her when she needed me; that time was now. I would do whatever was needed of me to help her, and her unborn child.

I cooed words into her ear as she continued to be lost in tears while I was lost in thought. Now I would have to tell Xavier..... Hopefully he would understand as well. If he blew up I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I wasn't sure at the moment anyhow...... Would he even want to be in a relationship with someone that was helping to raise a baby?

~~~

I rested my head in my hands as I slumped in my chair. I had come into work a little earlier than normal – I needed time to think, and getting extra pay for it wasn't so bad. Apparently last night was a slow night, because I didn't have much paperwork to fill out. That let my thoughts drift farther into dreadful scenarios that could happen. I think that I was over-thinking it a bit, but oh well. Things happened all the time.

The only thing that was bothering me was the fact that I didn't know what was going to happen. Normally I wouldn't have cared, but I didn't want things to go badly. We've had our ups and our downs since we started dating – what couple hasn't? - but we've made it through. It was making me worry that maybe this was going to be the last shot – the last thing that could make it hold, or make it burn.

The main thing was that I didn't know if Xavier was looking for a long-term relationship, and if he was, would he want it with someone who is going to be raising a child? Most people in their right minds wouldn't...... Unless they actually cared about the other person enough to not do something to jeopardize the relationship.

I guess I was going to find out: wasn't I?

"Hey." I said as I hurried out of my office once I saw him enter the hall. "How was your weekend?" I asked, but he didn't answer until we had gone into his office.

"It was fine. I didn't have much going on." He answered as he took off his jacket, and put it on the rack. "What about yours?"

I sat down next to his chair, and I took a sip of the water I was holding before I answered him. My eyes closed as I swallowed the water, and I was just hoping that this wouldn't mess things up too much.

"Jason?" He prompted, and I opened my eyes to see that he was standing right in front of me rather than sitting in his chair like I thought he would be. I – obviously – had been thinking with my eyes closed longer than I had originally thought. "Did something happen?"

"A few things did." I answered as I screwed the lid back onto the bottle, and set it on the desk. "I couldn't take it. I told Lillian about us yesterday."

"What?" He just stared at me as I continued on. The word seemed to come out of his mouth without him knowing it. I didn't bother to repeat anything.

"She didn't deserve to be lied to: especially when she told me what she did."

"What did she tell you?"

"Lillian is pregnant." I said simply, and tried to ignore the shocked look on his face. "Neither of us know who the daddy is, but it's not me." I met his eyes evenly as I continued on in an even tone – I forced it to be like that for a reason. "I'm going to help raise the kid, and that means you have a choice to make."

"What would that be?" He asked quietly.

"Stay, or leave." I said, but it hurt me to say the words. "If you can't handle it I want to know straight out; not find out months from now. That's the answer that I need." I forced myself to my feet; grabbing my drink I gave him a small, chaste kiss on the lips before walking out the door. "Take your time, but please don't leave it for too long." I said as I looked back at him one more time before heading back to my office.

Only time would tell.
Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

Jason is a popular fellow with me lately......

Jason, Lillian, and the shortly mentioned Danial belong to :iconayf100:
Xavier belongs to :iconhanyouneko-chan:

I - personally - liked the first parts better than the last part.... ._. That might be just me though.

Enjoy!

~Anime~
:iconayf100:
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tazdeathangel's avatar
thia ia awesomeness