Numb

"Bryon, come. I need you in the chamber with the other council members now. We have things to discuss." The dark haired elf said as he led me down through the hall of the home.

"But dad-" I tried to object. I had told my slightly younger cousin that I would play with him, but then my father had pulled me away.

"No buts. You are my eldest child, and it is past time that you started to learn your responsibilities."

"I told Jon that I would play with him though." I pointed out and looked at my father. His dark brown hair framed his slightly tanned face and a single tattoo of a star that was encircled was on his forehead. It was common for elves to be born with tattoo's somewhere on their face if it's in their heritage.

"You told him that you would, but you never promised him That's a lesson you must learn for when it's your job to take over for me."

"But mother said-"

"Bryon, you are just passed your twelfth name day. It's time for you to start taking responsibility for your heritage – time to become what you were always meant to." With that, I said nothing and just followed him into the room where there were a handful of others. Fallen angels, werewolves, vampires, nekos, inus and our cousin the fairy. There were two of each species there, but three elves if you counted me among them. There was every supernatural being here, and everyone was welcome. Humans have long since not believed in our existence, and they were no longer brought into these meetings.

This was the peace counsel, and my father was the head of it. Of keeping the peace with every race, including the humans. It was a task that I both wanted the honor of doing, but I didn't want because I wanted to go play with my friends and family.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

I closed my eyes. I felt the wind blow through my shoulder length hair as I gazed out at the setting sun. It had been a few years since my first council meeting, and I was now 15 years of age. It had gotten to the point that I went to every meeting now, and the more that I went the more in depth I became in them.

I never really did anything anymore. I went to council meetings, I studied, I read, I even wrote my feelings on certain matters in a notebook every night. Of course I ate and did essential things. I watched my brother and sister when my mother asked, but I never found anything enjoyable in the task. Even when they tried talking with me, I would give them simple answers or advice, but I never truly was in the conversation.

"Hey, Bryon!" I opened my eyes and looked at Jon as he ran over. His light brown hair swirled around his face as he ran over to me.

"Jon." I greeted.

"Do you have time for a game of Skipping Stones? It will be fun – some of the others are coming to."

"I can't." I told him. "I'm sorry." And I was sorry. I was sorry that things turned out the way that they did.

"You never can anymore! I'm sure you at least have some time for yourself." He insisted. I gave him a small smile.

"I'm sorry, but I can't." I repeated. He gave a defeated say and waved a good-bye at me before bounding sulkily down the hill. For the past three years I hadn't been able to play his games, and now was no different. He should have known better.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I gave a shuddery sigh as I came to the edge of the once abandoned hotel. I had heard from one of the others that there was a place that you could go to get away from everything. I had thought that that would solve my problems, and that I would just go and stay at Club Onyx until I had no other choice but leave. That's when I realized that I couldn't just do that. I was born with a responsibility, and I needed to treat it as such.

That was until I couldn't take it anymore. I wouldn't live at this place, but I would come here when I needed to. Stress wasn't something to be dealt with lightly, or to be kept inside all the time – like I had been doing for years. If we were talking about humans, I would be able to choose were I went without my parents permission, but I was of the elven linage, not human. I took a step forward, but before I could get any closer to the tall building a shape stopped me.

"Who are you?" He asked, and I saw his features. He was a fallen angel, that much was easy to tell, but it was also clear that he wasn't complete. He had more human features than he should have. That only meant one thing – a Mud-Blood, or a mix between two species.

"I'm Bryon, and I need a place to cool myself. I heard that this was a good place for that." I answered him calmly.

"Another Elf? Joy." I heard the sarcastic tone, and didn't even try to reprimand him. I didn't want to die this night. "I'm Karlee, one of the founders of Club Onyx."

"A pleasure to meet you."

"I suppose it's nice to meet you as well. If you're here to stay, I better show you around beforer you get lost."

"Thank you." I said as I followed him into the building that seemed to be crawling with intermingling species. "But I won't be living here."

"Not that many do, but what is your reasoning behind coming here?"

"Family matters." I said. Odds were, if he didn't know me now, then by the next time I came back he would.

Can't you see that you're smothering me,
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you.
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you.
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take.

"Bryon, where are you going?" I looked at my father right before leaving to go to Club Onyx. I had been going there for months now, whenever I could slip away, I would. It was important that I did, because it was helping my mental state. I had actually made a couple friends there, and I enjoyed seeing them. I would even talk with Karlee more if he was in a questionable mood.

"Out. I need to think on things."

"I don't want you to go to that club for the time being." I frowned at the words.

"Why not?"

"You were at the last couple meetings with me. The peace that I am trying to keep is starting to break. I don't need you getting caught in the crossfire when something does happen. If you are there, with beings of all kinds, you will more than likely get hurt."

"I know how to take care of myself, Father."

"I know that you do, and some of the other Elves that go there will not try to protect you knowing this."

"Who ever said that I wanted them to protect me?" He stayed silent at the question and I took a deep breath. "What's the other reason?"

"I don't believe you become friends with a Mud-Blood is such a good idea."

"How many people are watching me for you?"

"I didn't say they were our kind."

"I shouldn't be getting spied on by anything, or anyone in the first place."

"I'm doing my duty as a father, and looking out for you."

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you.

"How bad is your father getting? I mean, not letting you go to the club...." The Mud-Blood laying on the grass beside me let his voice get carried away by the wind. I wouldn't have known he was there unless he had been speaking. I turned my head so that I could look into his green eyes. Daniel was easy to get along with, and was one who would listen when it was needed. The vampire-human halfbreed was easily one of my closest friends.

"I wouldn't say that he's getting bad. He claims that it's for my own good in case something happens, and I could still go, but he has eyes to watch me, and they will tell him."

"That's a bunch of bull." He stated. "Nothing's going to happen."

"The peace treaty is starting to break apart. He fears that if something happens, all of us at Club Onyx will start fighting, and I will be in the crossfire."

"Nothing's gonna happen."

"The Vampires and Werewolves have been having problems as it is, and now the Nekos have decided they are going to start disliking the Werewolves again."

"Dude – you're acting like you're defending him when he acts like he doesn't trust you."

And I know
I may end up failing too.
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.

I had just finished my first speech during the last few minutes of the Elven meeting. Council members were permitted to speak during it, and since I was soon going to be one of them, I had no choice but to participate. I spoke as few words as I could before getting off the stage and making my way to the balcony. Now, I was walking beside my father as we made our way along the wooden bridges that connected the trees.

"You did good, son." We had stopped to look at the harvest moon that seemed to be turning more of a light scarlet color instead of orange. I turned to face him, but I noticed what he was trying to hide. Elves were never the best of creatures at masking what they felt. Their body language could, their voices could, but their eyes couldn't. I saw the disappointment in his eyes, even as he said the words.

"Thank you, Father." I murmured in fake gratitude. He didn't tell the difference, and we just started walking again. I had no idea what I ever did wrong to make him disappointed in me, but I had no right to ask. The odds were that I would make whatever it was worse, and at the moment I didn't need that.

I needed to relieve the stress that had been pulling away at me for the last few weeks. I hadn't been able to get back to the club, and Daniel had only been able to stop by once. Something about he wanted to make sure that I was alright before he left again. I didn't ask why because he was always on the move.

The only 'why' that I had to ask was my father, and I wouldn't do that. Anymore, his presence seemed to be of a shadow that I was meant to listen to.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more aware.
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you.

"You've taught your boy well!" One of the other council members told my father one day. I hadn't bothered to pay much attention to their names, considering this one was fairly new I didn't think that he was one to worry too much about.

"Thank you. I've tried to teach him after my example."

"It's well accomplished then. He acts like you during these meetings."

"That's wonderful to know!" The dark brunette let out a laugh.

"Father, I'm going to go check on Mother." I murmured to him, knowing he wouldn't mind. My mother was currently expecting another child, and we were all hoping for the best. She had gotten too weak in giving birth to my sister, and had almost lost herself. My father nodded and I left, hurrying as I walked to our home. I found her in the kitchen, smiling to herself as she sipped herbal tea.

"Bryon! I'm glad you got home early – I was wanting to talk with you about some things."

"Good evening, Mother." I said as I sat down across from her. "How are you?"

"I am well, and so is he." She rested a hand on her bulging stomach.

"He?"

"That was one of the things I wanted to talk with you about. I found out today that it will be a boy, and I want you to name him."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. What would you like?"

"Kevan."

"I couldn't have chosen better, but now we need to talk about something more important."

"What would that be?"

"You're always so distant anymore, until you come back from Club Onyx. I heard that your father told you that you weren't to go there again, and that he had eyes watching you. I took care of that, Bryon."

"What?" I wasn't quite following.

"As your mother, I am telling you to go where you are happy, whatever your father says."

"Thank you, Mother." I said as I stood up. This time, I actually was grateful as I headed out the door.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.
(I'm tired of being what you want me to be)
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.
(I'm tired of being what you want me to be)

I was currently in Karlee's room with him – talking about things as we did every now and then. We had gotten closer, and when he needed to talk about something, he would normally come to me. Today was one of those days that I was here and he needed to talk, but as we were talking somehow the conversation got turned towards my life.

"How do you feel about your dad?" The other male asked.

"I think I make too many mistakes for him, and he has bigger expectations for me."

"That's what you think, not how you feel."

"Towards him – I feel numb."